Already got asked if we're dating
did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
Randomize
