Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
Randomize
