You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
Randomize
