I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
Randomize
