Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
I am unfriending an ex-one night stand because his profile picture is of his wife's ultrasound.
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
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