Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
How do I know I'm high? Let me count the ways.
1. I put the milk in the cupboard, 2. Everything tastes fucking amazing, 3. My dog is really soft, 4. The lunesta butterfly flew out of my tv and touched me
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
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