I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
Randomize
