I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
Randomize
