so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
Walk of Shame today included voting.
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
Randomize
