I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
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