apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
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