so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
Randomize
