Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
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