OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
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