she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
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So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
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Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
I'm determined to sit on that face.
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
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