Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
New low: just hacked my moms facebook
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
Randomize
