turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
Randomize
