I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
Threesome in a minivan. New low
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
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