He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
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