I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
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