Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
Randomize
