i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
You just projectile vomited on my dad across the table at waffle house.
Do you think he can smell the vodka?
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
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