OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
Text me some of your sweat
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
Randomize
