My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
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