Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
Randomize
