I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
Randomize
