I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
You're a hot mess, you know that?
At least I'm a FUN hot mess. Like a train crash full of pizza, fireworks and glitter.
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
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