Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
Randomize
