Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
