Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
Randomize
