My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
Randomize
