Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
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