1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
You came home screaming the lyrics to Drunk in love, and dumped wine on me when I said you would never be Beyoncé
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
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