those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
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