Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
Randomize
