We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
Randomize
