I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
Randomize
