My room smells like vodka and shame
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
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