By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
Randomize
