Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
I've gotten 23 condolence texts about Germany's defeat. I got 3 for our break-up. That's how much my friends don't like you.
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
Randomize
