I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
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he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
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he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
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