In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
Randomize
