I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
Randomize
