those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
Randomize
