i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
Randomize
