so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
Randomize
