he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
