I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Randomize
