I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
Randomize
