My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
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