im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
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There was a lot of him and a little penis
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
So, my ex just showed me the drunk voicemail we left him last night. Started out with me saying "I think it's Shane." Then you took my phone and started singing a song about peanut butter, train tracks, and tequila. I joined in. On the upside, he said he's totally fine with being on the drunk dial list from now on. Soooo, another tequila night??
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I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
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