she woke up with a sticky ear
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
Randomize
