My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i woke up with a grocery list signed by "the people who ate all your shit while you were passed out"
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
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