how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
Randomize
