I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
Randomize
