love makes seman taste better
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
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151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
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