Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
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