just survived the first fart of the relationship.
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize