Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
Can you bring me the toilet please
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
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