On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
