I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
I just sucked dick on a ferry
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
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