I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize
