I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
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