if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
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